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February 4th, 2010


11:09 am
Salutations!

Sooo it's 2010!

I am still in Tumwater. I am doing my last Independent Contract with Evergreen for 16 credits. I am volunteering at an Alzheimer's Nursing Home and writing poetry on aging and dying. I was introduced to Sharon Olds through this contract and I totally love her work. She's sooo raw! I also have been reading Ginsberg, a book about conscious living and dying, and I am currently reading a fictional story about Nietzsche and Freud.

Next quarter, I shall have 4 credits to complete before I officially graduate in June! It's crazy how time flies! My sister, 2 nephews, and parents are coming for graduation from Ohio and Wisconsin. It'll be my sister's first time out here which is exciting. I wish I had more than 4 days to show her around...

Harold and I have decided that we're going to break up after we graduate if not before. We both feel like we have lots of things to experience still and we both seem to be going in different directions for the time being. I have options of working in Colorado or Ohio to try and make some money before I try and join the Peace Corps which will be a two year commitment. Harold is looking into traveling, maybe WOOFing (working on Organic Farms) in other countries, he has also got an invitation to Portugal where they are doing this sustainable city experiment over the next few years. He is also applying to Acupuncture schools which is a three year program.

Joplin and Gracie both have tumors :( Joplin's is huge, but she still runs on the wheel and whatnot :) Gracie's has just begun...I feel badly for them but it is hard to realize how this is effecting them, whether or not they are in pain, and what I can do to help. The vet said it would cost at least $150 each plus medication and that they would more than likely rip open the stitches and it could get infected and that more would probably grow back in its place. The alternative is letting them take their course and that the tumors, even though they are probably benign, will kill them be either sucking the nutrients and energy out of their food/them or grow so big that they won't be able to move. :( Leeloo died not too long ago...she was Joplin's twin sister. He death was sudden from a rep. infection. :(

Sage is not on her hyperthyroid medication because although I could afford her medication, I could not afford another blood test to see if we needed to up the dosage...so the vet refused to fill her medicine. Bureaucracy of vet clinics! I knew the medicine was working. Sage gained weight. She wasn't puking. But they want their money. Because we were buying the medicine through a compounding agency and through a different vet that we took the girls to, so I am sure they just wanted to halt us for money we don't have :( So now Sage has not been on her medicine for some time and has dropped weight and pukes more. She also has been having stomach acid problems. She'd been constantly grinding her teeth, especially when eating and her stomach gurggled from across the room! I've been giving her slippery elm with her food and it's been helping. As well as keeping her food elevated.

I wish I could do more to help them. I am currently the only employee at my job and I am not getting enough hours. I only been getting 11 hours a week which has left me roughly 30 $ a month after rent and bills to spend on food and pet food which definitely doesn't cut it! I have been eating entirely into my savings and now I have no money left. My dad sent me $200 a few months ago which I was supposed to send directly to the dentist in Colorado for my wisdom teeth removal last year in which I owed them like $600 and they were threatening to send me to collections...I kept the money though and it saved my temporary ass. I still have to pay the dentist though since my insurance decided not to pay for it. I also owe money from when I got my Pap and STD tests. I am afraid of not being on insurance, but really it hasn't done me very well this last year anyways...refusing to pay for, like, everything. Sooo anyways, hopefully, I'll be getting more hours at work soon since it's going to be getting busier in Spring and my bosses were like, we can't work this much! They spoke about hiring someone else in the future, and I just hope it's not too much of a competition for hours! Because I NEED them!

There's so much more to write, but I have to go make some food and get on the bus because at least today, I am working :)

Hope all is well for everyone.
Current Location: Tumwater
Current Music: RJD2- The Horror

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November 13th, 2009


02:03 pm
So I moved to Tumwater randomly.

Harold, Sage, Joplin, and Gracie, and I actually. I am super stoked on the situation here. We're living with another couple, Valena and Jason. Valena just turned 40 and owns the house. She used to work for the gov't, but quit her job and now works helping Alhtimzers patients and finds it much more fulfilling though it's a huge paycheck cut. Jason was a tattoo artist at one point. He's got a lot of tattoo magazines that are fun to check out. Valena has a kid, little Valena who lives here part time and is 7. She's super cute and it's nice having a child's energy around-she's super down to play games like Jenga :) Our other roommate is Adam. He works in Shelton at a Commuter Center for Troubled Youth. He's super chill. Has a tattoo of something from Zelda and wants some kind of Hacker tattoo. He's from Eastern Washington. Even though Tumwater is farther away, I actually get to work faster. Getting to Evergreen takes about an hour, but at least it's only a 7 minute walk to the busstop instead of a 15 minute walk (what is was when we were living on the West Side).

I am getting more hours at work at Oly Seafood-Friday and Saturdays as well as my already Thursdays and Sundays which is super nice and needed. I got a side gig of nude modeling for art classes at Evergreen at random times I am available and not on my period just to try and swim not sink...I seem to do more sinking in the financial dept lately-especially with moving costs like a U-Haul for 2 days, a deposit (since we haven't gotten our old one back yet) etc.


The room is still a mess! We have boxes everywhere and both Harold and I are taking 18 credits, I'm working, and our class requires a lot of in studio work on campus outside of class, so we've only been able to put so much time into actually moving into our room.

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September 25th, 2009


10:06 pm - Artaud's Words
Revolution Sitting Down-
Impression Initiates Duality.
Enchantment-
Concentrate.
Conceive Electric.
Exclusively Spoken,
Possible Performance Continues...

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01:56 pm
I sniffed my laundry and all the lavalamp smoke spider-plant;
I twirled my ciders and all is smacked again.
(I pinched I picked you up inside my mirror.)

The yin-yang tapestry go pacing out in Sexy and Sweaty,
And Sinful finger plants in:
I kissed my game and all the gravel runs wind-chime.

I sneezed that you squeezed me into gourd
And squished me Scrumptious, pleased me quite fucked.
(I pinched I picked you up inside my mirror.)

kite tip-toed from the grenade, lemonade's beds tossed:
gave pickup-truck and virus's burrito:
I kissed my game and all the gravel runs wind-chime.

I grinned you'd laughed the way you drank,
But I coughed orange and I kneeled your lady.
(I pinched I picked you up inside my mirror.)

I should have lunged a vampire instead;
At least when pupusa passed they raced back again.
I kissed my game and all the gravel runs wind-chime.

(I pinched I picked you up inside my mirror.)

- MagRold & Sylvia Plath

Madlib Poem from http://www.languageisavirus.com/

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11:51 am - Cut-Up
fingers. hair composted, head of so my And my anymore. so is it-trying pull still so that Overheating. top cough. it hum is of hear a computer. it-trying not remember is though anymore. And the beautiful pull the the life. purple my it being is head I goes being it-trying to make being sense might I'm top it-trying composted, Overheating. so of it that So life. not anymore. cough. it-trying my I'm And cabbage sense so


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June 7th, 2009


10:24 pm - Sage and Summer
 So the other day Sage started peeing all over the house every 5 minutes! We looked at her little dribbles of pee and there was a white mucus too. I called the vet to see if we could bring her in and it was about 12 and they said we could bring her in at 3. I was already in panic mode and looked up online and read about how it could be a blockage and that it may bring about an overload of toxins, which would result in kidney failure and then death in 48 hours. Then she started peeing blood! I was freaking out!! Harold called the vet back and they said we could come in right away. We went and the vet said that she thought it was just a UTI, but took a urinalysis to be sure. Gave us antibiotics and told us that Sage had lost about 1 lb in like 2-3 months, but that her heart was better (we started giving her children asprin for that) and that she still thought Sage had an overactive thyroid. So we got her a bloodtest and the results came back positive. So now Sage is on medication for that. 

She seems to be doing better as far as the UTI goes though it's been hard to give her such large pills and she's thrown them up like 3 times...I think that it was a result of using the all-natural pea-fiber and mint cat litter, because it was soo dusty! We took it back to Mudd Bay and got a refund and used the money to buy vegetarian dog food for Joplin and Gracie. The bill for the vet was ridiculous though! 

School is over. I have my evaluation tomorrow. I think I am going to be getting full credit in my program as well as my 2-credit poetry class. But I am nervous for the conference anyways because that's just how I am. I've always been a wreck with these types of things. Turning in job applications too! Which I've have been doing a little bit of, but am in desperate need of a job now and right away!!! I need to make rent! I am applying to lots of places and have a list. I know I would do well at any of these places and that I am really good with people, but I just get so nervous and flustered trying to sell myself! I wish I knew people who knew people! 

Other than getting a job this summer, Harold and I have plans to go visit my family in Colorado. We found 2 rideshares already, 1 of whom is a greener and is riding back with us as well. I am excited to see the ranch in summer and, of course, my family.

I am also going to poetry camp at Ft Flagger to study the beats for 5 nights and 6 days. We shall have an Italian chef and optional yoga on the beach in the mornings. I hear that people get drunk usually and just have a lot of fun. 8 credits. I am excited and know of 1 person who is going as well. I want to catch back up on the credits I missed out on in fall so that I can graduate next Spring (as long as I take an extra .

I really want my dad to see me walk at graduation and I know that it will be really important for him. He was not able to go to college, because he went to Vietnam Airborne (parachuting out of planes) and it has always been a dream of his to see us kids graduate from college. My sister is 10 years older than me and working on graduating in 1-2 years. She got pregnant at 17 and had Tyler at 18. She went to 1 year of school after this and got straight A's, but had to quit because she didn't have the money. My brother went traveling around the world. Making music. Filming mystics like Tibetan monks, Rastafarians, and Native Grandmothers. Now he oversees a 3,000 acre yak ranch and is growing about 10,000 veggies and herbs for the farm and working on getting a geothermal greenhouse set up. My parents paid almost as much as Evergreen is costing me out of state for my high school at a private all girls school where 100% went on to college. So seeing me walk will be important.

And it kind-of sucks because I just got half-a-proposition (aka not official but I am being considered) to go to Thailand for about 1 month  and my ticket would be paid for as well as accommodations. I would be going with a good friend and I have always wanted to travel out of the country. It is the only thing I can think of that makes a lot of sense and has been a dream of mine, since I have only been to Canada. However, it falls on the same date as Poetry Camp and it would completely ruin my chances of having my father see me walk. I wish there was some way around it. But I am really happy to have even been considered and feel touched that my friend even asked me especially since it's going to be an important trip for her. Maybe someday...

In other news, Harold and my plants are doing well! Only the acorn squash is behind. Surprisingly the other squash and both kinds of pumpkins are doing well! 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

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May 24th, 2009


02:36 pm - Mold, Ants, and Plants
So I am going on my 3rd month of living in Olympia. I am living in this cute little house dead end over a ravine near the Westside Co-Op. I love being so close to the Co-Op and the neighbors are pretty cool. A friend lives a few houses down. My neighbor to my right is in a marimba band and practices/gives lessons outside, so it's always great hearing him/them. I am totally stocked to finally be living in a home where I have a yard, a compost onsite, and garden beds. Harold and I planted snap peas, tomatoes, basil, pumpkins, squash, (pumpkins and squash are hard to grow here I guess) kale, lettuce, spinach, carrots and probably more that I am forgetting. A neighborhood cat keeps getting into our compost, but I don't think it could ever keep up with us. The compost has lots of red worms and seems to be doing well! We also have a blackberry bush, strawberries, mint, and a winter white rose bush.

However, our house is infested with ants!!! Odorous ants! They drive me crazy!!! They are living in our walls and attack all of our food! They eat the cat food that I have no choice but to leave out, they ate all my costly dried mangos from the co-op, etc. Harold and I found a whole colony living in a bag of ours in the closet!!! We contacted the landlords who told us that there were ants here when they were living here and that the previous tenant never wanted them coming in the house, so lacked communication....I spoke to multiple neighbors who say that this is an issue for everyone in the neighborhood. The landlord hired Orkin, a pest control company and told us they had all-natural products they could use....yeah right! I doubted that. When they showed up I was proven correct. The guy rambled to me about how the products are safe and EPA approved...yeah right. Like the EPA cares if I develop cancer, especially if my cat or rats develop cancer....I think they'd rather make a buck. He pretty much stated that he'd have to spray every wall in the house and that we wouldn't be able to be in the house for about 4 hours. The landlord was present and upset that the reps lied to her about the products being all natural. We said there was no way we wanted him to spray inside the house, so he sprayed all around the outside of the house...which still pissed me off, because he completely sprayed our mint! And we were told that we just have to wash it off!!! They also came back later and gave us ant bait. I hate the idea of even using these poisons and wish I could just live and let live...I always think of Walden and how awesome it was that Thoreau let the mice and ants live with him... but its so bad that it cannot be ignored and I do not want to be held responsible for not telling the landlords. Ants were even crawling on me when I was sleeping and one night I had a nightmare about insects being all over me. They seems to be taking the bait which is good, so hopefully the issue will cease.

Next is the mold. Our house is rather damp. For Olympia that's no surprise, but I cannot stand mold!!!!!! It is one of the reasons I detest the Pacific NorthWest and is so bad and terrifying for me that it would be on my top 3 reasons of why I would move. Our vent in the bathroom doesn't work too well and when we finish taking showers, our windows in the bedroom fog up! Anything left on the floor feels damp. The other day Harold and I went to move our bed around and there was mildew/mold all over our boxspring! It was on the side that I was sleeping on. Which probably accounted for why I had been feeling so strangely. I was constantly getting a fuzziness in my head. Lightheaded as well. Weak. I was feeling depressed. And I was getting constant heartburn which is not normal for me at all and I hadn't changed my eating habits. I went online and of course, these all can be symptoms of mold. Of course worse symptoms can be forms of cancer and things like schizophrenia! I already have dealt with mold growing all over my bed, all over all of my clothes twice when I lived in Cambridge Courts (should have sued the bastards) and I was not ready to deal with it again. It makes me feel completely helpless. Harold bleached the boxspring twice and we slept in the living room for 3 days while we let it air out.

We went and bought a bedframe finally. It was $10 from goodwill and we also bought a $20 shelf to put my clothes that were in random bags on the closet floor in so mold doesnt grow on them; but neither of is really have money to be spending. I need a job and am about to get desperate. I have applied to a few places, haven't heard back from anyone and have more applications to turn in. I spend too much money on eating out (example: $20 for my meal alone at the Palace of India--didn't know it was going to be so costly or else I wouldn't have gone there) though I eat in often. Anyways, if the mold is bad now and it's Spring, I don't want to know what it is going to be like in Fall or Winter!!! Good thing I only have a 6 month lease.
Current Location: Bedroom in the Treehouse House
Current Mood: irritatedI'm having major cramps!
Current Music: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Theme Song
Tags: , ,

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April 10th, 2009


12:57 pm
 So being back in Olympia is rather refreshing. I'm completely glad that I had a break from it and is the reason why I am happy to have returned.

I still have lots of moving in to do. Harold, Joplin, Gracie, Sage, Zane, and I are all living together on a dead end street somewhat close to the Westside Co-Op. I really like the location, the neighbors (we already know a friend who lives right down the street), and our landlords. We have 3 garden beds that we've slowly been working on, we're allowed to compost here, we have a blackberry bush, and a strawberry bush that needs a lot of loving. Moving in has been a slow process which I hope gets finished fast! Because I really, really need to apply for a job, but I don't want to apply for one until the house is clean and organized, because I know that I'll have no time between school and work to do a huge project like moving in. But I do need a job super soon. Harold and I only have a few more loads until everything is out of the storage unit. Thank goodness. 

My birthday was great. We were at Zane's old house which is Daniel, Mobus, and Green's house taking it easy, watching a show or something, and Harold and I had made creme brulee for everybody. They were putting a candle in my creme brulee and at the stroke of midnight everyone had those popper/streamers in their pockets and set them off at me. It scared the shit out me! And Sage! But it was totally cute. Everyone enjoyed the creme brulee and I think it was Zane's first time ever having it! 
In the morning Harold and Zane suprised me with a $45 gift certificate to Pac Sun so I can get these jeans that I have been eyeing. It was super nice of them! Harold took me to eat at Hearthfire Grill where they have an amazing Ahi Cocktail (the only seafood I eat is raw tuna). Then he took me to get acupuncture for the first time and it was a really interesting experience. I really liked the lady who's place it was and shall definitely go back once I have enough money to do so. Then we picked up Zane and headed for Seattle, or Lynnwood rather. I went to Olympus Women's Spa since you can get in free on your birthday and it was super amazing. It was beautiful and relaxing. I drank a lot of water as from the advice of the acupuncturist and certain infrared room required at least 2 cups of water before entering. Next time I go, I hope a friend will join me. I left there around 10. I had to pee like every 10 minutes there after unfortunately, but I am sure my body was expelling toxins. Zane and Harold and I wanted to grab something for dinner and went to the U District, but everything was closing. So then we settled for Dicks on Capitol Hill. Probably not the best thing to put in my body after a day of expelling toxins, but our options were limited. We were trying to hang around there because Robyn was supposed to be coming from the airport with Onias and Liz and we were all going to meet up. The flight was delayed, so we headed back to Oly. Harold and Zane were determined to get me to drink on my 21st even though I had absolutely no urge to do so. And I didn't because by the time we got to the Royal it was well after midnight. I took one shot with them- nasty, overpriced tequila. And we left back to Zane's old place where we met up with Liz, Onias, and Robyn. Hung out for a bit and went to bed. 

I am taking a real, sit-down class at Evergreen now. It's been almost 2 years!! I am taking an After Nietzsche class. I feel a little behind, because most people in the class took Nietzsche last quarter, but I am enjoying the class regardless. It's a lot of reading (and thinking!), but I'll only have to write one midterm paper, which is nice. And we have 2 weeks to go on an adventure of our choice. Some people are going to Europe, some to Frisco, some to South America...I don't have money to go anywhere really and I need a job, so I am not going to ask for 2 weeks off from the beginning, but maybe I can figure out something...camping or a trip to Vancouver BC or something...I am also taking a 2 credit poetry class with Kate Crowe, who I love. 2 free credits! Hell yes! 




Current Location: New Spot Yet To Be Named!
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Animal Collective and George Harrison

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March 7th, 2009


11:30 pm - Winter Quarter Independent Contract
 I am completely excited for winter quarter to be over, though all my things are due on the 11th, including my self-eval and an overview of what I accomplished. I still have a book to read, an essay to write, 9 poems to write, 3 poetry contests to enter, a self-eval to write, as well as an overview. Surprisingly, I am not freaking out yet. 
I really have enjoyed what I've been studying. I have learned a lot about the transcendentalists and am completely inspired by them. I also learned that forced poetry is crap and that I write poetry better when I am in a group setting (or completely emotional). 
Unfortunately, I don't think my professor has liked one bit of my writing. It really has made me question my intelligence and ability to write a good poem or a solid essay. I was warned that he wouldn't be good with the poetry aspect of my contract, he's a political science professor, but he pretty much told me that I write too much in first person and unless the reader cares about the author, then the poem is essentially not good. He hasn't given me any positive feedback about any of my poetry or my essays. I just hope that, as long as I turn in the things due stated above, he will give me my full 16 credits!
 I haven't lost any credits my entire college career and since I took last quarter off, I am eager to catch back up! I plan on taking summer classes to make up for it, as well as extra 2 credit classes if I can. 
I would like to reflect on winter quarter later, especially living here in Colorado and heading back to Oly. 

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February 21st, 2009


03:51 pm - Bumps
I just got my wisdom teeth removed...the nova. wore off while they had trouble with one of my teeth, so they had to break it out of my skull (I'm making dangly earrings out of my teeth, so I am one down). 
 
Turns out that I am allergic to Vicodin. 

I have crazy, itchy, itchy, itchy bumps all over my skin especially on my arms, hands, chest, neck, and back. The top of my head even itches! I feel completely like an addict on withdraw or something. 

I took a bath with oatmeal and baking soda...the oatmeal I couldn't get out of my hair and I think Sage, my cat, was trying to eat it this 'morning. 

I've been taking 50 mg of benadry every 4 hoursl. It makes me super tired and drowsy. I'm not allowed to take pain killers with it, so I have to take ibprofin and antibiotic at different intervals...worst art is that I still itch! And the benadryl is supposed to make me stop peeing, but I haven't had that problem as of yet...luckily.

I also have some crazy expensive steroid cream to put on my bumps. It seems to help a little bit. 

And I am in fear that the antibiotics are going to give me a yeast infection, so I've been doing shots of apple cider vinegar. 

This is day 3 and I'm still swollen like crazy. Itching like crazy. And I haven't been able to get much of my homework done. 

I'm not having fun. 

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